I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
