1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
