idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
