Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
