Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize