And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Randomize
