She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
