Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
