$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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