at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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