They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
