i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
