Fine. I'll sleep in my office
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
