Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She's the barista slut.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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