no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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