remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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