She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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