he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
