My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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