Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
