She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize