i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
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