dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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