I just cut my nipple shaving
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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