I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
