Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
