went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
