I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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