does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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