But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
