How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
so let's talk penis.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
