Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
we made out on top of his cat.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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