is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
either way he was missing a nipple.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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