So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
