What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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