Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
