She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
