My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I AM VODKA MAN
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize