Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
