I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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