that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
