I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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