im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
the room spins SO much faster in panama
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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