was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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