You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
