There was a lot of him and a little penis
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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