The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
