Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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