Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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