I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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