When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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