Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
