ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
