i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize