My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
