susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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