I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
my shit smells like andre
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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