i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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