How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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