i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
