Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
