drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
