There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
