So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Randomize
