I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
