If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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