cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
