Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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