nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
