I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize