I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
