Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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