found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Randomize
