I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
