Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
