What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
