Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I cannot find my penis.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Randomize
