Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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