yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize