I think I won the penis lottery.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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