I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
