my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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