Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
